naked into the desert
July 5, 2023
I walk naked into the desert.
Catchy title, isn’t it? Don’t get too hung up on the imagery, though. It’s a metaphor.
Thank you for stopping by. I want to state a few caveats as I introduce myself and “my self.”
1) I’m a coach. Not athletic but a coach of people. Life coach, if you want, but it’s not the term I’m gravitated to. I prefer Growth Development Coach, at least for the moment. One of my core values is growth, and I coach others seeking to grow out of the place they feel stuck.
2) Coaches are not experts. That’s not the point. If coaches are experts at anything, we listen to what’s being said without it being said and ask questions that yield fruit from the seed of the unsaid. We, coaches, do claim to have subject matter expertise in leadership, entrepreneurship, corporate communication, personal finance, time management, etc. But if you’re looking for advice, don’t hire a coach; hire a consultant.
3) I plan to write about my journey of identifying…my identity. Details to follow but suffice it to say, this causes an uncomfortable problem if you see Growth Development Coach and believe that coaches are experts. If that’s so, then I’m outing myself. However, if you are like me, you are a lifelong journeyman. As such, you look for others that know and have traveled the same road so that you can travel it more efficiently and wisely. That is why I am here and why I am sharing.
The road I am on right now is one I’ve traveled for four of my five decades. I can describe every hill, valley, chasm, and rocky patch. I can tell you all the hundreds of questions I’ve asked myself - sometimes inquisitively, sometimes angrily, often in desperation. Now I sense that I’m finally reaching the end of this particular path. Before I step onto the new course, I feel compelled to share what I have learned and bring you along for the last few steps of this particular leg of my journey.
If you, too, feel that you are on a journey, perhaps unsure of where it is leading you or maybe frustrated that you can’t get to where you want to go, I invite you to walk alongside me. Hopefully, you’ll pick up something useful, but in the least, I always welcome the company.
I don’t know that the next leg of my journey will take me into the desert, as the title of my blog implies. The desert is not a metaphor that resonates well with me and where I’m headed. But it’s the most impactful phrase from my last session with my coach, during which we discussed my journey and this blog. So it felt inspired and proper, especially the naked part (as a metaphor!)
This is what I wrote in my notebook as she and I talked:
HAVE TO STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN.
THE LEAP OF FAITH.
DO THE HARD WORK.
WALK NAKED INTO THE DESERT.
I need to put down everything I think I know.
Walk naked.
I know nothing.
There’s humility in this. I believe that’s necessary, but it’s not what this is about. This is about stepping away from the me as I’ve defined it for the last four decades. I’ve believed in a story about myself built in layers of misconceptions and misperceptions. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but it is difficult now to know my truth. I don’t say this with despair. I’m not throwing my arms up or collapsing into a fetal position. Fortunately, I have learned that one’s sense of truth is not fixed. I have not lost it, and it is not unknowable. Instead, it is built up like an artist sculpting with clay. My truth, my reality, is negotiable. My experiences in this world determine it as long as I keep my eyes open.
This blog and negotiating my truth are the journey within a journey. I love fractals. I love that there are these patterns in life where zooming in close or backing far out, you find reflections. There’s solace in knowing you can figure out the big problems by zooming in close to solve them on a small scale first. Or you can back up to see it again at a vast scale. Any way you look at it, you’re seeing the whole thing. I’m on the last leg of the journey, which is the first half of my life, yet within it is the question of a lifetime: who am I?